This is part two of a two-part series. Part one, Economic Effects on Men's Well-Being and Purpose, discusses how work builds self-trust and social belonging, and why its erosion is a structural problem, not a moral failure.
Contributors to Mental Health
Men's mental health has typically been discussed in terms of neurochemistry, beliefs, or behavior, and most recently, disparagingly, in terms of loneliness and the male loneliness epidemic. None of those account for contextual impacts or the sociocultural limitations on acceptable behavioral outlets and emotional expression.
Mental health is an outgrowth of many factors, including individual neurochemistry, health status and practices, epigenetic and lived trauma history, quality of social connections and relationships, environmental and other contextual impacts or supports, home environment, and opportunities for safe and healthy expression.
Everyone's self-concept and self-esteem have a few social and environmental contribution points that help form and reinforce how we think about ourselves in relation to other people and the world around us. To name just a few: family of origin or the people who raised us, platonic and romantic relationships, and early environments such as school, religious centers, and sports teams.
Performing Manhood
Men's concept of manhood, masculinity, and identity is coupled with the ways they are expected to perform a normative idea of who they should be rather than actually embody who they authentically are. To some degree, we all navigate this quagmire. But I question where and when boys and men are widely encouraged to laugh or smile freely and often, be irreverent, emote fully, and verbalize personal truths safely without stoic restraint or angry projection.
We all learn early on what is expected of us according to prescriptive gender roles, and we make conscious and unconscious choices throughout life as to which aspects are appropriate for our own lives. Some of us choose according to the freedom we have to choose exactly as we please, but sometimes circumstances prescribe them for you regardless of fit or satisfaction. Depending on the norms you prioritize (cultural, economic, family, ideological, national, spiritual, or religious), your choices, expression, actions and behaviors, motivations, goals, self-concept, and self-esteem will vary according to your ability to uphold those favored norms in your own life.
For men having a similar experience, check out this quick and helpful resource.
The Social Math of Masculinity
Historically, men's social capital hinged on their functional utility; certain physical attributes—which seem to be a hyperfocus for some younger men today—and their ability or potential to father children as a proxy for virility, née manliness, which, interestingly, is also a proxy indicator of how much they can potentially, or actually, earn. This is part of the social math that men's masculinity is judged by, often without accounting for the stability and impacts of the local, regional, national, or global economy.
Is the country at war, under siege, or perceived to be at risk of either? Is the value of the currency falling due to national pressures, making saving and investing akin to bailing out a canoe with a hole in it, out on the lake during a storm? These and other market conditions affect earning potential, and thus affect how men can project the likelihood of accomplishing these sociocultural norms and expectations placed on a man that would serve as a verifiable measure of his innate masculinity and embodied, socially sanctioned manhood.
Pressure-Cooker Conditions
This makes for pressure-cooker conditions. When a man:
is unable to fulfill his personal desire for his unique expression of manhood
has not defined for himself the man that he wants to be
is constrained by economic pressures at home and in the world
has never seen men model or encourage full and healthy emotional expressions to real challenges
feels anxiety, fear, doubt, hopelessness, isolation, loneliness, etc. and has no healthy outlets
has no safe person to hold space for his thoughts and feelings without ridicule or weaponizing the information or vulnerability
This brews perfect conditions for suppressed thoughts, emotions, and unfulfilled social and economic needs to curdle within some men. It can turn into debilitating anxiety, depression, anger, substance abuse, rage, and violent behaviors. These behaviors should not be mistaken for the essence of the man's character or a measure of his worth. They are the evidence of pent-up, understandable emotional responses to triggers and circumstances beyond his processing capacity and reasonable control.
In a future post, I'll go into where that anger goes and the places we can see it showing up in popular culture.
Men, take the short Head Inspection on mantherapy.org,
a free, confidential assessment that helps you figure out your strengths and your struggles.
What I Hear in the North Country
During my time in the North Country, I have found that some of the men in their prime fatherhood years have talked about delaying relationships to avoid the inevitable pressure to marry and procreate. They stated that they don't see how they "can afford a family." For them, it seems wisest to avoid the connection that would pressure them before they are fiscally ready to support that life decision. They conveyed the stress, loneliness, and ongoing treadmill of working hard and striving while remaining financially strained, unable to start the next stage of life. The economy determines the strength of the dollar and the long- and short-term viability of your profession or business. When how much you earn is inherently assumed to indicate your value as a man and potential partner, your psychological and emotional stability and self-esteem are as likely as your wallet to suffer in lean times.
Work with me
Would you like to bring me to your college, university, or organization?
I offer lectures and workshops and plan events on a range of masculinity topics, from work, craft, and trades to psychology, sociocultural norms, and more.
Learn about my offerings, contact me, and find video and radio interviews and articles on my Speaking & Media page.
To read my field-based writings, visit my Big Grip Chronicles Substack
If you haven't read the first installment of this series, read Economic Effects on Men's Well-Being and Purpose.